Relationships – Value
Do you assign value to relationships and if you do, what values do you hold as higher than others?
How do I value relationships?
Two definitions of value are: a) the regard that something is held to deserve; the importance, worth, or usefulness of something, and b) a person’s principles or standards of behavior, one’s judgement of what is important in life.
Applying this to our daily relationships the question arises: what is the importance or worth of the people I interact with? Am I using them for my personal gain, or am I genuinely attracted to their character and disposition. Do you value a relationship for what they can do for you, or for what you can do for them?
Marriage can be an example. When dating my wife, many questions were raised in my mind as we spent time together. Of course, I had dated others before my wife. I had arrived at the conclusion, before I proposed, we would agree if we met another that attracted us, we would tell each other and that would end the ‘going steady’ aspect of our relationship. That never happened with my wife and we did get married. With others, in my dating, there arrived a time when either myself, or the one I was dating would stop giving. That became my criteria for knowing our relationship would last – as well as a shared faith in God, of course.
In another example, I am passionate about tennis. It became my life’s work and I have taught in many and varied situations. Teaching parents children is usually challenging. Most parents care deeply how their kids are doing and progressing. Tennis costs money – a lot of money if you are going to be good. One day a ‘Wall Streeter’ came to me and handed me $500 cash to take his son on as a student. It was unusual to offer that with no receipt in return. Later his checks bounced, so I knew why he offered cash in the beginning. As I progressed with his son, it became very clear that he saw his son in one way, and one way only – as an investment. He wanted his son to become a professional tennis player and make a ton of money. The other aspects of father – son were never there. I could write a book on how much hurt that boy went through and how much I invested my own time in him, but the purpose here is to put either an a or b value, or in some instances, a combination of a and b, on the people in our lives. Become more aware. Are we using this person for our own gain, or do I respect their character and put more trust in them.
Without human interaction what kind of life would a single human live? What value do you put on the lives around you?
